Back in September that reality hit me in the face. The Lord was asking me "are you really ready to get uncomfortable for me? Are you really willing to give up for real and let go?"
So I started praying that He would take me out of my comfort zone and rock my world. At that time I had no idea what the Lord had in store but I knew I wanted all of Him. It's easy to be comfortable with where you are. It's comfortable for me to live at home, to lead worship, and to do all the things I do here in Orange County. I rarely have to go outside of my comfort zone and do something different. So I prayed that if what I am doing here in Orange County is really the Lord’s best plans for me right now, then He would stretch me here, but if it's not the Lord’s best plan for me He would do something. I told the Lord “I am willing to do Anything as long as it leads me to exactly where You want me and Your absolute best for me.”
The Lord said again “are you really willing to lose your life for my sake? To give up everything? To let go of your money, your family, your friends, your comforts, your church?” So I responded a hesitant but sure yes. (It doesn't have to be easy to let go as long as you let go.)
So I kept praying and looking for the Lord to open the door and He started leading me down a path I never saw coming. He didn't throw me into a vast ocean without a life raft instead He slowly lead me in where the water was shallow.
I first thought the Lord was leading me to leave the high school ministry at Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa and go help with the youth at Calvary Refuge in Huntington Beach. I started to get comfortable with that idea and the Lord said ok I want you to move to Boston for 6 months starting in winter. That was CRAZY. I was super uncomfortable and slowly started to get myself used to the idea of Boston in the winter. I kept thinking and praying “ok Lord this is going to be totally uncomfortable but if this is your will let’s go.” To be honest part of me was thinking why did I pray to be uncomfortable? This is going to be so hard. So, I started planning to go to Boston and praying more and more.
That is when the Lord did something I never imagined or could dream of.
When I returned from the Dominican Republic in April I emailed a lot of churches all over the world and asked them how I could be praying for them. In the Dominican Republic I saw the effects of fervent specific prayer and wanted to pray more effectively for other churches. These churches were in different countries as well as right here in America. I got emails back from many of them with prayer lists or a couple of prayer requests I was excited and started praying for each of them. One response was from a church in New Zealand. The pastor emailed me back with a single prayer request and asked if I would tell him a little about myself. I responded simply by saying that I lead worship and help with youth ministry thinking nothing of it. We emailed back and forth a few times and found out that he had been in Costa Mesa in March and went to lunch with Craig Coffin the high school pastor at Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa. After a couple more emails he said without my prompting in any way that if I could have Craig email him a good recommendation he might have a short term spot at his church for me (In New Zealand).
I was blown away! I never asked to go to over there or serve with them; all I had asked is how I could pray for their church. I immediately started praying and asking the Lord what to do. Over the next few days I did not talk to anyone about it. I just prayed. I wanted to see what the Lord had to say about it before getting advice from anyone else. I was praying that the Lord would give me some kind of confirmation if he wanted me to even consider doing this. The next morning Pastor Miguel the pastor from New Zealand emailed me and said "the ladies bible study have been praying for a young lady named Jesse for years now. the name came to them in prayer 2 years ago." I literally dropped my laptop when I read that and walked away freaking out! Anyone else have chills right now?
Then the lord gave me the verse "But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called youby your name; Youare Mine.” (Isaiah 43:1) The Lord knew 2 years ago that He was calling me to New Zealand!
In the next few days I talked with Craig the high school pastor and Dylan and had them email this pastor recommendations for me.
Since then the Lord has made it soooo... Clear that this is what I am supposed to do. I had started reading in my devotion time the story of Moses. The Lord lead me there right at the start of the emails and it has been amazing to see the Lord speak to me through Exodus. Moses was used by God in seemingly impossible circumstances because He obeyed the Lord and not totally willingly at first. In Exodus chapters 3 and 4, every time the Lord says Moses go to pharaoh a do this Moses makes an excuse. I don't want to make excuses for why the Lord can't use me. If the Lord could use Saul a killer of Christians turned to Paul to write most of the New Testament and turn so many to the Lord. Or Moses a man that couldn't speak very well and was afraid, to change the course of history. He could use some random girl like me. So I told the Lord ok if this is what you want I will do it. As soon as I gave up for real and told the Lord I would go to New Zealand I got super nervous. Things were really happening. I was really going to go to New Zealand. That’s when the Lord gave me Isaiah 42:6-9 “ I, the Lord, have called You in righteousness, And will hold Your hand; I will keep You and give You as a covenant to the people, As a light to the Gentiles, To open blind eyes, To bring out prisoners from the prison, Those who sit in darkness from the prison house. Iamthe Lord, thatisMy name; And My glory I will not give to another, Nor My praise to carved images. Behold, the former things have come to pass, and new things I declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them.”He clearly said go do this I have called you for this purpose and I will provide for you and do amazing things through you. I couldn’t walk away.
In the last couple of weeks the Lord has confirmed it even more and shown me what I am doing. I started emailing with the pastors wife and daughter. His wife confirmed that they had been praying for someone named Jessy and that they had the impression that this person would somehow help their church. CRAZY. She also said that a year ago she started praying and got others involved in praying that the Lord would bring a worship leader with a heart for worship to their church.
His daughter Naomi who is 15 and her friends have been praying for a year that someone would come and teach a girls high school bible study to for her friends. These are just a few of the examples of the way the Lord is going to use me to answer prayers that they this church has been praying for a year or more.
Who knew that me praying and being ready to be used by the Lord would turn into Him using me to answer prayers that these people had. You never know how the Lord has been waiting to use you until you surrender fully to Him. I am so humbled that the Lord would use me to answer all these prayers. I keep asking the Lord “why me?” and He keeps telling me “because you are willing.” He could just as easily use any other person He is just waiting for someone to be willing.
The Lord put New Zealand and Australia on my heart when I was 12 years old and I have been praying for them ever since. I never in a million years thought I would be moving there. So in September I will be packing up my life and moving to New Zealand. I have committed to a year (mainly because it takes at least that long to really build relationships with people and make a difference.) I will be doing a multitude of things like worship, children's ministry, a ton of stuff with youth including a few girls’ bible studies, and anything else the Lord has in store for me.
I can’t wait to share this journey with everyone and pray that the Lord will encourage you to take a step and get uncomfortable. That doesn’t have to mean that you are moving to New Zealand or Africa or anywhere else. It could be as simple as the Lord telling you to share His love with your barista at Starbucks.
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